Online Family Safety

Talking to Your Teen about Safe Cell Phone Usage

By Kim Boatman

Tammie Sandin thought buying her 13-year-old son his first cell phone made sense. After all, reasoned the Monument, Colo., homemaker, a cell phone would provide an added measure of safety on her son’s walk home from middle school. What she didn’t count on, says Sandin, were the music downloads that showed up on the family cell phone bill.

“It got taken away for a while,” says Sandin of her son’s first cell phone.

The acquisition of a cell phone is almost a rite of passage for American teens these days. But as cell phones increasingly become an integral part of life for most teens, issues related to their mature use of the technology abound.

You’ll want to hold ongoing conversations with your teen about cell phone usage. Experts say the discussions should cover four major areas:

Safety and access

• DO talk to your kids about where and when you want them to have their phones turned on. It’s a good idea to take the phone away at night, says Linda Criddle, an expert on children and tech safety and author of “Look Both Ways: Help Protect Your Family on the Internet.” It’s not uncommon for teens to text each other late at night, arranging to sneak out of their houses.

• DON’T allow your teen to send text messages or talk on the cell phone while driving. A national survey of 1,000 16- and 17-year-olds by the American Automobile Association (AAA) found that an alarming 46 percent send text messages while driving, a practice that has led to fatal accidents nationwide.

• DO think carefully about whether you want your teen’s phone to have a tracking feature that allows you to follow his or her movements or whether the phone should have access to some of the new location-based social services that work with GPS-enabled phones. “Be very careful if you’re going to use any kind of location-based service that you’re not putting out information to the wrong people,’’ says Larry Magrid, founder of two web sites called SafeKids and SafeTeens, both focusing on the safe use of technology by kids and teens. “I don’t know a single parent who would find it appropriate that their daughter’s or son’s boyfriend or girlfriend knew where they were every minute of the day,’’ Criddle says.

Ethics and social responsibility

• DO discuss bullying. Talk to your teen about the harm that can be done by sending a message that proliferates rapidly as teens forward it along. Explain that he or she might face legal trouble, both civil and criminal, for harassing others through the use of a cell phone.

• DON’T assume your teen will have an adult understanding about privacy. The temptation to use a cell phone camera inappropriately, coupled with a teenager’s typical impulsivity, is a volatile combination. A 14-year-old New Jersey boy faces legal prosecution after forwarding the risqué photo a 13-year-old girl took of herself with his phone. Your teen should think carefully about the photos he or she takes and about the possibility that others might be photographing them when in social situations, says Magrid.

• DO talk about academic integrity and the use of cell phones. Some school systems are banning cell phones on school property in response to an epidemic of cheating involving text messaging.

Cell phone features

• DO carefully evaluate the features available on your teen’s cell phone. While you view the phone as, well, a phone, teens often view it as a computer on the go, says Criddle. Do you want your teen to have access to social networking sites? TV programs? Music downloads? For example, Sandin set up her son’s cell phone so it is unable to send or receive text messages. This was implemented after her son sheepishly confessed to texting during English class.

The cost of cell phones

• DO plan a cell phone budget with your teen. Read the fine print when it comes to cell phone features, and have your teen do the same, advises Sandin. A shocked North Carolina family received a $2,000 bill after their teenager visited her grandmother in Virginia; it turned out their daughter’s cell phone plan charged a premium for calls made from out of state. Since texting is such an integral part of teen life today, consider buying a plan that includes unlimited texting or a bundle of text messages

Finally, it might be a good idea to draw up a cell phone usage contract between you and your teen. The message overall, says Criddle, should be, “with every privilege comes responsibility.’’